Nothing turned out to be as I expected in my wedding and marriage process, which are the dreams of any girl and which should actually give a new direction to one’s life. The disturbing days were followed by the big disagreements which our families got involved after a point. I was even more disappointed when I finally got married. I started to think about divorcing in the first month of my marriage. That was when I decided to have sessions with Hakan whom I have been following for a time.
I had various kinds of questions before going to him; even though I read the comments of his counselees before, I decided to see him without having any expectations and I thought that I would at least give it a try. While I thought I was totally right to question why I experienced things that I didn’t deserve, Hakan told me that I was responsible for everything in my life. Even though this was quite perplexing for me, I listened him without objecting and tried to put this knowledge into practice.
After four sessions which took us six weeks, I was at a completely different point than I have been before. I was calmer, I let go of my uneasiness and began to be more solution-oriented. The problems just began to disappear one by one and the disagreements stopped suddenly as I tried to understand them instead of fighting them. When I started to ask this question: ‘Where do I do this?’ without blaming myself, I realized how I overburdened myself and others. I began to communicate with some elders of the family whom I was estranged from for months. Not only I was softened about some issues that I have been quite stubborn about, I also found solutions for them.
I was just alienated from life and thinking about divorcing when I first saw Hakan. It’s about to be four months now as I write these lines. We overcame the problems we had about my husband’s family and began to make some strong plans for the future. The circumstances started to change as I changed my reactions. My life stance and my point of view have changed. I understood that whatever happened just happened since I wanted it or didn’t want it. I am so grateful to Mr. Arabacıoğlu, who reminded me of my worth and helped me to get rid of my fears… ‘I am worthy’
Gülhan Altunsu - December 2012 - Istanbul